Editorial: Marriage is not a state's business

Item from the Smart Marriages Archive, reproduced in the Divorce Statistics Collectio n

EDITORIAL: Marriage not state's business
April 28, 2000

(U-WIRE) BLOOMINGTON, Ind. -- Several states, realizing the high social
and economic impact of divorce, have begun to take measures designed to
increase the odds of a happy marriage. Some of them are fairly minimalist
-- Utah and Florida, for example, teach marital skills in high school.
But some of the plans extend in scope far beyond the role a state should
have in creating "good" marriages:

- Florida is now offering a discount off the price of a marriage license
if couples take a four-hour marital education class.

- Wisconsin wants to hire a "community marriage policy coordinator" who
would work with local clergy to set requirements for engaged couples
before marriage, such as mentoring with a long-married couple or a
waiting period.

- Republican Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee has declared a "state of marital
emergency" and is exploring tax credits for couples who take a course.

- And Oklahoma's governor, Frank Keating, also a Republican, unveiled a
$10 million "marriage initiative" program, including a
"scholar-in-residence" to do marriage research and train people to teach
marriage classes at welfare, health department and even agricultural
extension offices.

Such programs have several faulty assumptions about marriage, and they
intrude too far into citizens' personal lives for too vague a purpose.
The underlying assumption of all these programs is marriage is supposed
to last forever. Says who? A church? The idea of "until death do us part"
is a noble one, and certainly the ideal for every marriage, but it's not
practical. Marriages are essentially a legal contract, and like all legal
arrangements, might not last forever.

Too many bad marriages stay together for the wrong reasons -- their
religion prohibits it, they stick it out "for the kids," they don't want
to lose the financial benefits such as insurance. If states are truly
intent on helping people, why not make it easier for people to escape a
loveless or unhealthy relationship? Why not give single mothers a tax
break, or lower the cost of healthcare?

And let's be honest. If, by the time people are getting married, they
don't know how to solve an argument short of shouting and stomping out of
a room, a four-hour marriage class isn't going to change their
personality. Marriage skills are really life skills, and if people don't
have them by the time they're in their 20s, they're already out of luck.

Divorce is a problem in this country, but instead of trying to stick
people together forever, states should be examining the real problems and
finding solutions that work -- not offering a sale on marriage licenses
for the sake of an unrealistic ideal.

| Smart Marriages Archive | New Divorce Statistics and Studies Blog | Older Divorce Statistics Collection Archive |