Item from the Smart Marriages Archive, reproduced in the Divorce Statistics Collection
The Florida Times Union

Monday, September 13, 1999


Classes scrutinize relationships State-mandated guidance for teenagers

By P. Douglas Filaroski Times-Union staff writer

Teacher Jim Cherney posed the age-old question: What's more important -
looks, intelligence or a sense of responsibility?

Andia Jackson's hand shot into the air. ''You need someone you can have a
conversation with. So I would say intellect,'' said Jackson, an
11th-grader at Nathan B. Forrest High School.

Cherney smiled. ''That's what's going to make your relationship last -
what's on the inside, not what's on the outside.''

So it went in the fifth-period ''Personal, Social and Family
Relationships'' class: 18 teenage boys and girls discussing the pros and
cons of dating and what makes a good mate.

Discussions like these between young people and adults aren't anything
new. What is new is that the Legislature last year mandated that students
must learn about marriage and relationships in order to graduate.

So far, Florida is the only state to enact such a requirement, but many
other states are considering it.

Cherney, who has taught health and sex education for 27 years, said the
new law makes sense.

''Ideally, young people learn about these things from their parents and
through life experience,'' Cherney said. ''But look at the mess we have.
Half of all marriages end in divorce. Kids are not learning these things
from their parents.''

In one recent class, Cherney asked students to list the benefits of
dating. Students struggled at first. Eventual-ly, with Cherney's help,
they posted several points on the blackboard: Getting to know other
people, learning about yourself and finding a marriage partner.

There were plenty of jokes. Inevitably, one student blurted out ''sex'' -
which Cherney steered toward another list called ''Consequences of Steady
Dating,'' under which he wrote pregnancy. That list also included
limiting your mate selection and getting hurt.

Jackson, 16, said the first few weeks of class have taught her more about
relationships than she had learned on her own.

''Half of the stuff I knew, but I didn't think about it logically,''
Jackson said. ''I learn more in here than I do anywhere else.''

Brandon Carmichael, 16, said he likes the class because sometimes he
feels embarrassed to talk to his mother.

''She's pretty good, but she doesn't get into as much detail as Mr.
Cherney does. He gives more examples,'' Carmichael said.

Theresa Carmichael said that's because discussions about the opposite sex
make her son feel uncomfortable. ''He'll talk to me, but if you ask him
too many questions, he'll back away.''

She takes her parental responsibility seriously, but also doesn't mind
help from school. ''A little reinforcement doesn't hurt, either,'' she
said.

Cherney said he doesn't have trouble talking about relationships with his
own daughter, but understands that some parents may fumble when it comes
to discussing emotions and sex.

''Not all parents are equipped to talk about these things,'' he said.

Life skills classes taught in Florida high schools also cover topics such
as consumer education, nutrition, AIDS, sexually transmitted disease
prevention, and the benefits of abstinence.

The addition of marriage lessons to the curriculum was part of the
Marriage Preparation and Preservation Act passed by the Legislature in
1998. The law's main thrust is to lure couples into pre-marriage
counseling by lowering the cost of marriage licenses for those who see a
qualified counselor first.

Rep. Stephen Wise, R-Jacksonville, who co-sponsored the bill, said
teaching about relationships in schools is one way to attack the problem
of divorce.

''The truth is kids need role models. The problem is you don't see very
many people who are married 50 years anymore,'' Wise said.

Someone needs to teach teenagers about healthy relationships, and the
schools are one place to reach nearly all of them, Wise said.

''I don't know that this will do everything that everyone wants it to do
right away. It's not going to eliminate divorce,'' he said. ''At least it
will give them an idea that [marriage] is a commitment. You don't just go
jump in bed with the first person you meet.''

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