Item from the Smart Marriages Archive, reproduced in the Divorce Statistics Collection
November 12, 1998

MARRIAGE MATTERS
HERE'S WHY...

Marriage is good for children

Children do best when they grow up in married, two-parent families.
They're more likely to finish school, have good marriages of their
own, and avoid problems such as teenage pregnancy, drug and alcohol
abuse, and juvenile delinquency.

Married men are better fathers

Fathers married to their children's mother are more likely to be
involved in parenting their children by providing guidance, role
modeling, and financial support.

Marriage is good for most adults

Married men and women are usually healthier, live longer, have fewer
emotional problems, enjoy better sex, and are less likely to abuse
drugs or alcohol.

Marriage is good for the economy.

The average married individual earns more and saves more. Married
couples are more likely to be home owners and invest for their future.

Marriage is good for employers

Employees in healthy marriages tend to be better, more productive
workers. Married men miss work less often and are less likely to abuse
drugs or alcohol. Married couples are more flexible and can work
together to balance work and family responsibilities.

Marriage is good for taxpayers

Marriage breakdown increases the cost of many public health and social
service programs. Single-parent households often mean children are
raised in poverty or on public aid. If there were fewer divorces and
out of wedlock births, government spending could be reduced
significantly.
_________________________

MENU FOR A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE

Appetizers:

Don't marry too young.
More than two-thirds of teenage marriages end in divorce. It's much
better to wait until you are in your twenties.

Finish School
Couples who finish high school are more likely to have fulfilling,
long-term marriages.

Soups:

Choose a mate with similar values
Couples who share similar values, religious backgrounds, and goals
have greater chances of success. Marriage is a team effort. You both
need to be headed in the same direction to achieve your goals.

Take your time
Couples who date at least one year before marring are more likely to
have successful marriages.

Salads:

Take a marriage course
Couples who complete a premarital course learn skills that will help
them communicate better, resolve conflict more effectively, and improve
marital satisfaction. Five years later they are more likely to be
happy and together.

Don't live together
Contrary to popular opinion, living together actually decreases your
chance for a successful marriage. Couples who cohabit are often less
committed to marriage, less satisfied in their relationship, and more
likely to divorce if they do marry.

Entrees:

Emphasize the positive
In healthy marriages, spouses give each other four times more
positive comments than negative ones.

Share the work
Couples in healthy marriages share household duties and child care.
Men, this one is for you.

Worship together
Couples who actively participate in a local congregation have higher
rates of marital satisfaction and are less likely to divorce.

Desserts:

Have Fun
Couples in healthy marriages spend time with each other in
conversation, fun, and relaxation.

Remember the "C" word
Commitment is the foundation for successful marriage. When you say
"I Do," say it for life--and mean it.

Menu served 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year!
______________________

STRENGTHENING MARRIAGE...SUPPORTING CHILDREN

What's the Problem?

Too many broken marriages
In 1997, the divorce rate for marriages in Kent County was 60%
(4,642 couples married while 2,938 divorced).

Too many fatherless homes
Approximately 40% of U.S. children do not live with their biological
fathers.

Too many hurting children
The breakdown of marriage is an important reason for the increase in
childhood poverty, juvenile delinquency, teenage pregnancy, substance
abuse, and school dropouts.

What's the Solution?

Healthy, long-lasting marriages
The Greater Grand Rapids Community Marriage Policy, with other
individuals and organization in Kent County, is working to strengthen
marriage in our community. Mayor Bill Hardiman chairs a Steering
Committee of more than fifty community leaders that has identified
three goals to be reached over the next ten years:

To expect that every couple planning to marry in Kent County receive
thorough premarital preparation.

To reduce the divorce rate by 25%

To reduce the number of children growing up without the benefits of
two-parent, married homes by 25%

What's Happening in Grand Rapids?

Our entire community is joining hands, and the nation is watching.
Pastors, rabbis, priests, judges, doctors, lawyers, counselors,
elected officials, business leaders, educators, and concerned citizens
are working together to find ways to strengthen marriage. Of the more
than eighty cities across the country that have adopted a community
marriage policy, Grand Rapids is the first to be headed by a city
mayor and to have both religious and civic leaders from across the
political and professional spectrum working together to strengthen
marriage.

What Can You Do?

Three ways you can help strengthen marriage

Model a strong marriage for your own children as well as for all
those children and adults who know you.

Take a premarital or marriage enrichment course, or seek help if
your marriage is struggling.

Encourage programs that support and strengthen marriage in your
school, your place of worship, and your workplace.



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