Item from the Smart
Marriages Archive, reproduced in the Divorce Statistics
Collection
November 23, 1998
BOSTON (AP) - After years of grappling uncomfortably with the problem, an
increasing number of clergy say they need help
dealing with domestic abuse in their communities.
For many clergy members, the desire to maintain marriages has clashed with
the need to protect women from abusive
spouses. Some say they have too often advised battered women to forgive
and forget.
Into this void comes Boston Justice Ministries, a nonprofit domestic violence
group that launched a project this month to train
clergy in 10 Jewish and Christian congregations.
``We have to take a long hard look in the mirror and realize that we as
communities of faith have been far too negligent on a
fundamental issue of human justice,'' the Rev. Charles Virga, an Episcopal
priest in Chelsea, told The Boston Globe.
Clergy who are involved with the Justice Ministries' Safe Havens Project
say the training is essential because many abused
women confide first in their spiritual leaders.
``Victims may be more at ease going to a clergy person because that's someone
they know, and because churches are typically
considered places of refuge,'' said Debra Robin, director of training at
Casa Myrna Vasquez, a battered women's shelter in
Boston.
The Rev. Anne Marie Hunter, executive director of Boston Justice Ministries,
said she began the program after years of
hearing women tell how they had been treated questionably by clergy.
``These are awful stories,'' Hunter said, ``and there are also stories where
congregations were wonderful in their response to
abuse. But there is certainly room for improvement.''
Some participants say that while they understand the need to preserve the
sanctity of marriage, the Bible does not condone
violent partnerships.
``Marriage is a covenant, but that covenant is broken ... the moment there
is violence,'' said Rabbi William Hamilton,
spiritual leader of Congregation Kehillath Israel in Brookline. ``I will
not send a victim back to her abuser.''
In the past, he said, ``We, as religious institutions, have wrongly believed
that holding families together was more important
that the well-being of the individuals in those families.''
Debbie Brown, a deacon at New Covenant Christian Center in Boston's Mattapan
section, said her church decided to enroll in
Safe Havens because for years parishioners resisted owning up to the reality
that ``there are victims right inside our walls.''
The church frequently ``took the attitude that it was shameful to talk about
it,'' she said. ``But we have to make churches
realize that God doesn't have in his plan for a wife to lay down and be
beaten like a doormat.''
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